
April 1, 2019, FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Authored by V. Sequel, Staff Writer

Vertica is pleased to announce Vertica in Eon Mode on Premises, Academic Edition. Vertica’s director of marketing, Ross Pushback, says “Schools have always utilized personal analytics.” [We think he means “report cards” – ed.] “Our contribution is the flexibility offered by the separation of compute and storage, which schools have needed for decades. But schools have extremely sensitive data, and many are reluctant to use the public cloud, so we built them an on-premises option.”

Vertica’s development team was equally enthusiastic. “Vertica is basically just software, so it can run on any compute and storage platform”, says Yu Wish, director of development, adding, “At Micro Focus, we respect all technologies that our customers are still using, so the TRS-80 with Network 3 storage was a sensible private cloud to add to the supported platform matrix. Furthermore, as Student Station Single Storage System (S5) is a “de facto” industry standard, Vertica expects this technology to be universally applicable to other deployments with no further changes.”
Originally slated for delivery on April 1, 2017, developers admit that the project was beset by delays. “We had smoke in the lab on one occasion”, says Bud E. Projection, from the QA department. “We don’t think it was a software problem, as the power supply capacitors are known to fail.” Recalls HR recruiter Yuda Mann, “Engineering needed someone with soldering skills, but in this competitive job market, it took 8 months to hire someone to fill the requisition.”

Another of the project’s engineers, Kilda Wos, states, “We had an incident where we were repairing a keyboard, and we dropped all the little springs on the floor. We never did find all of the springs, but by querying the customer usage data in our Vertica Analytic Database, we discovered that the number 7 on the numeric keypad is the least used, and so we simply left the spring out of that one”. On the scalability front, “We did experience some performance bottlenecks with the shared storage”, says developer Dee Po, “and so we had to add a bit of caching on the local disks.”
But now, the wait is finally over. Vertica in Eon Mode on Premises, Academic Edition will be generally available on April 1, 1984. As other competitive solutions in the industry are priced around $999 per terabyte per year, subscription pricing is expected to be $0.000000041 per node per hour*.
*Assuming the Really Special (RS) Reserved System (RS) option with a 3-year, 5,600,000 node commitment.